I got married less than a year ago and to say that it has been smooth sailing would be something of a misstatement. During what most people refer to as the ‘honeymoon period,’ I find myself in what feels like the deep end of the pool (Please note, I’m not a swimmer.) The things I thought would be issues, in this my first real relationship, have turned out not to be big issues at all. While other things that I never saw coming leave me scratching my head on what seems like a daily basis. During this time of adjustment, to a new husband, a new living situation and new relationship issues, I keep thinking about what I could have done differently to make this experience perfect. I’ve come to realize that the perfect relationship can only exist in my mind. The minute I step out of mind into reality, things change and create the possibility for any number of outcomes. These numbers grow even more exponential when the other person in the relationship has their expectations and their versions of perfect.
The inability to live only perfectly constructed moments was clearly presented to me in the movie About Time. In this movie, a young man, Tim, is told on his 21st birthday that he can travel back in time to relive any moment he chooses. He quickly realizes that every moment good or bad has consequences on his future and the future of others, and reliving a past moment until it’s perfect can alter or even prevent a pleasant future moment from occurring. This was the case when he tried to help his friend and roommate by traveling back in time to prevent a disastrous play opening. After some wins and fails, Tim makes the decision to be present in his own life and truly live every experience. He learns to appreciate those around him and look for happiness right under his feet even when the situation isn’t perfect.
I would love to say that after seeing About Time I did a complete 180 and I’m now fully equipped to deal with everything marriage throws at me, but I can’t. So what if everything doesn’t look as perfect as I thought it would look? Would I risk the amazing parts of my relationship to ensure other parts are perfect? I don’t think I would. About Time reminded me that life is a myriad of moving and unpredictable parts and sometimes to change one thing, is to change everything. It really brought home the point that life is not about planning for perfection — it is making the most of every situation, good or bad — that includes quickly learning to swim or finding support when you find yourself in the deep end of the pool.
Want to see more About Time? Check out the trailer!
About Time – A film from Richard Curtis, the creator of Love Actually, Notting Hill, and Four Weddings and a Funeral, Opens Nationwide on November 8, 2013.
Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Universal Pictures through their partnership with POPSUGAR. While I was compensated to write a post about About Time, all opinions are my own.